Sunday, November 13, 2011

driving slow on sunday morning!

 There are so many things I haven't really tried yet in terms of writing- despite me ferociously writing every stupid theory of the universe I come up with since I was ten.

I never really wrote about my day, complete with pictures. Well just to take a little commercial from all my profound whatever, here's to my first EVER "what-i-did-today" entry. burp

Best day to try this? SUNDAYS.

today i bought a book to read @ fully booked. 


this is the view from my room: 

\





 I went to snr and saw pat! 



I bought my favorite ice cream. MINT CHOCOLATE CHIP!



yes I know, I must work on my focusing! 




 and a little view from the car:




the clouds were so fluffy today.










          okay maybe that was a pretty crappy uneventful first "what I did today" entry, but who cares? I love having days as simple as these! everything is just going according to pace.. and I felt really calm (except the homework I must get done..NOW) its actually fun to document these things, but I wouldn't want to do this everyday (blogging each day i mean) what do i look like? the truman show? 

but hey this would make an interesting digital fossil 800 years from now. So the aliens who read my blog like it was the code of Hammurabi can realize that the internet wasn't all about sex and social networking..



OR IS IT?



Saturday, November 12, 2011

and well..

existentialism and "The one that got away"


           Today Katy Perry's video "the one that got away" premiered online. The song is about how you make promises to a person about forever and the like, but it never really works out. Or in katy's case, the guy (played by Diego Luna I LOVE HIM) just met an accident..Oh shes so dramatic! hahhaa but anyway it IS a pretty sad story. That and finally looking up the lyrics of "dreams" by fleetwood mac gave me a morning filled with many forms of wondering about what could have been. 
"Like a heartbeat that drives you mad, in the stillness of remembering"

           I'm not really talking about anything or anyone in particular (scandalous!), but its just the general feeling of being nostalgic. I mean Its not like I'm this rock who doesn't feel these things. I think everyone more or less wonders into these bitter-sweet memories once in a while. 




          but then it hit me, thinking about what could have been is to put yourself into a corner. 
There is no such thing. "what could have been" is a myth.

           I genuinely believe that if you really want something, then there is no fear, only certainty. When you know something to be so true then you would fight for it no matter what - it wouldn't make you sad, but happy to even try. There is no "what could have been" because if its not happening, then it shouldn't be happening. If you're allowing your fear or whatever to stop you from getting into something, then maybe its just not the right thing. 

          Everyone glamorizes us into thinking that relationships are supposed to hurt. so when it does hurt us too much, were killing ourselves over it but enduring it anyway because we think its part of the program. So when we look back, we think to ourselves "oh god it was so good even with all the bad stuff." but if that were the case, then why is it different now? if youre really dreaming of what could have been, and you want it so badly, then you should just make it happen. If you know its a risk worth taking, then take it!

          otherwise, we can't really complain (unless you know, god forbid the person just dies like in Titanic). Its just life running its course. It doesn't always go our way and thats okay. But we are capable of trying to change it, and if we (or the person in question) won't even try, then maybe its just not worth changing. and thats okay too. so all ya'll young ladies out there who are getting emotional with the song, CHEEEL! (easier said than done, but really there is nothing more pointless)

       PS
          Just a random thing to add, In Katy Perry's video, I really felt bad for the guy who she grew old with - the one she didnt seem to love. I mean if youre dreaming about someone who's gone, then why leach unto someone else and make them believe that theyre the one in your heart? Shit, Katy. just cause youre hurting doesn't give you the right to hurt the one's around you. or maybe she married him for money or something. UGH WHATEVER why am i even thinking about this :)) 


        i just wanted to put it here.. I mean thats life for you. now go and love the world!!! 

Monday, November 7, 2011

use the horse!



I'm writing this because starwars is the cool thing to like. I see it on 9gag, tumblr, etc. People are talking about the places, the characters, and their eyes light up like its so wonderful to recall those things - and it is. But I don't just love starwars for that. Some people just try to know it because its cool and they want to be weird or quirky or whatever..I don't know.

No, I dont know everything about Starwars. I don't know about the outer universe and I dont memorize every place in the saga (i just know the basics: Tatooine, Hoth, Naboo, etc) I'm not a fangirl who would memorize every Jedi in the movie. Though I know that would be cool as hell, I don't think that that's the kind of qualification to say that youre really a fan. (if it is then youre just making it this exclusive whatever thing - you hipster.)

I write this because every time I sincerely ask a person if they like starwars, I often get a reply like "oh do you know the *INSERT A-PLACE-YOU-OBVIOUSLY-DON'T-KNOW-BUT-I'LL-SAY-IT-BECAUSE-I'M-OUT-THERE planet*"then I get a shun because I don't know it. sigh. this is why sometimes I just want to shut up about it, even though I feel like screaming from the mountain tops how amazing I think the whole thing is.

a love for star wars, just like a love for other things, is subjective. and maybe I'm not as cool as all the other fans out there, but I really do love starwars. So now I just want to write about it.

 The first one's I saw were the prequels and not the original trilogy..but it was fucking amazing. I loved every minute of it. Even part one, when I was anakin's age and all I could think about was how cool it was to race the way he did. And then in part 2 he fell in love, and I thought to myself because I was a little girl, "one day I'm going to marry anakin skywalker"

I even marked how tall he was on my wall, so I could mark my growth and pray it would match his in those weird couplely ways. (I know its very durpina of me, but what the hell) to me he was so real! and it wasn't the actor I loved, but the character. I remember even reading some stuff about him, he was my first love. To top it off,  I wanted the world to change into that parellel universe, I wanted it so badly. I used to collect the KFC mugs and buckets, trying to copy the characters on them. I played frisbee using the lid of the KFC bucket - just because it had starwars slapped across it. I didn't care. I found random sticks in the park and used them as light sabers. I'd talk to myself using that ethereal jedi voice. I'd dream about it - even until today.

then I got surprised because I grew up and found the internet. then I went to online forums about starwars, and I saw how many people were saying that the prequels sucked. I was a bit saddened by it because thats starwars for my generation. I saw them first not because I chose to, but just because I just wasn't exposed to the first ones. So part I, II and III came. and I was thinking "oh why was this here?" "why is this a big deal?"

and then I saw the original Star Wars. A New Hope, The Empire Strikes Back, Return of the Jedi.

I was amazed. even though the effects were outdated, it still spoke to me. I saw the originals when I was already in highschool, but it still took me away. I fell even more in love with the story. And the genius behind it, how it was so ahead of its time, was beautiful. I saw it again and again. Soon after I saw the prequels again, and I actually teared up a bit. The story was so true and so real. I love starwars that I wouldn't care if they showed the damn thing using sock puppets - there's just a message behind it that you just can't help but want to escape into.

People complain about technicalities, how the dvd edition has many new digital changes that they don't like, how the original is better...but come on, star wars was never about those things.

for me, the prequels were a tribute to the original. it was never made to compete, but to compliment. If the prequels weren't good, then I wouldn't have been so curious about the originals - it anchored me back. Now I know it, and my life just feels different each time I think about it. (and if you say that I dont know what I'm talking about then funk you you filthy adult! I was a kid and kids always know best!)

 The point is, star wars will always be there. It's a story of redemption, return, victory, love, and so many other things. I love it just the way it is, for all that it is (even the things people criticize about it) because you know why? It's a story worth knowing. Its a warmth worth carrying into our own galaxy, not so far away. If each person who's ever seen starwars would apply the love from the movie in real life, and not just the merchandise, then I truly believe the world would be a better place - then we wouldn't have to wish for it to be real because it's always been real. the force has always been amongst us.

that's it for my two cents.

now to lighten up the mood!

watch this video! :)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-eCSHJINqCo

If not now, when?


Now I know,
 all I've ever been trying to be, 
all that I've ever wanted, 
was to just be a kid again. 
Pure, Curious, Free.
As a kid, I never needed anything to be happy. 
I never relied on the company of anyone. 
I never expected anything from the world 
except that it be the home of other people 
who just want to be kids as well. 

Society is wrong. 
all you ever needed to be happy has always been within you.
 everything else is just good marketing
 - when people make you want things you dont really need.

I love being a kid!! :)
just humming a song under the giant sky
so small compared to everything else,
but dreaming of the day when 
you can change the things
 that they told you couldn't be changed
anymore.