Fighting fire with fire

             I used to be a fiery creature.

             It used to be that when I knew something wasn't right, I'd confront that person with what I thought was a strong statement. If I was misunderstood, I'd march over to that person and set things straight. More recently, if it was a facebook status that I thought wasn't it the right place, I'd answer it. It wasn't always that I was angry. In truth I would do it because some things would just set me off. Some things can hurt - maybe its a defense mechanism. Well anyway I just wanted to put that here because its something I've learned ever so recently. Because I asked myself, "I know its right to fight for something you believe in, but is it always right to fight fire with fire?"

      

             I am an LA rep in DLSU. LA rep means Legislative Assembly Representative. We talk about laws, and as much as I hate having to resort to very heated (sometimes unnecessary) arguments and tactics, it's part of the job. and if theres anything you should know about me, I take the job very seriously. I always want to be a better LA rep because theres something MORE that needs to be done. Recently I've just been trying to change the way I would approach a certain controversial topic. When you're in an LA session with people who think differently, and you need to articulate your beliefs, the worst thing you can do is  lose yourself.  I myself admit to conduct that I'm not very proud of - and its only recently that I've realized that I have a long way to go in terms of being the ideal LA rep I'd like to be. then I realized its not just being an ideal LA rep, but even as a person - there are many things I want to change. So I'll start with myself. 

  

           My father is a lawyer, and when I told him my problem he gave me one advice: "mapikon ka, talo ka na" which I pondered on for a bit, and I realized the wisdom behind such a statement. I realized it with shame, because thats what I had been doing for some time. Fighting fire with fire may get you somewhere, but it takes strength to take such fire, and turn it into something less wreckless. Something more constructive, and in the long run I believe, something more effective. 

       I dont mean that one should no longer be actively fighting for one's beliefs. Its just that our own perception may be limited - we should be open and get to know the perception of even those who challenge our ideas. Understand where they are coming from. Only then, can you arrive at a better stand. Cooperation before controversy. Anger that translates into passion? yes, but in the proper way. In the proper time and place. 

      

     So last year there was a video of how the ombudsman purposely didn't count the votes of some people involved in the Legislative body in our very own government.  The people were outraged and started expressing their anger - a natural reaction. However the ombudsman didnt pay any attention to their cries. (stupid crap) but does that mean that the people fighting against him should go in a corner and sulk? does that mean they should post a status on facebook saying "Stupid ombudsman! stepping on my rights!" no. What it means is "lets try another way". Something constructive - Say, publicizing the video of him committing such an act. No matter how you turn it around, there are ways for the public to know. The truth will always prevail.

"Best way to clear the air is to have it all out in the open"

- Atticus Finch (To Kill a Mockingbird)

       [ With that said I really hope more people would attend the LA sessions. Because if you hear it from another person, it can always get twisted. Even if you hear it from me, I can always unconsciously dump my biases there. Please if you're a student and your'e reading this, please attend the LA session. (Wednesday 2:30pm USG conference room)]

and to continue..

      I love how socrates challenged the sophists. what he did was that he would question them endlessly, never resulting to anger which the sophists always resorted to. Fiery rhetoric can never substitute genuine wisdom. I can be the most boring speaker on the planet, even the most afraid. Yet when you really ponder and approach something with wisdom and humility (I know that I do not know), not anger; you have so much more than even the greatest lawyers of the world. Not lashing out doesn't mean you're not courageous. Being silent doesn't mean your'e idle. Gandhi himself did not have a very BIG personality - yet hes not only one of the greatest lawyers who have ever walked this earth, but one the greatest human beings as well.

      So ever since, I've really tried to change. There are many things online (statuses that people post, etc etc) that I would, If it were the old me, love to answer to and just write a lengthy reply to. But I dont think it will lead me anywhere. It can just make things bigger. I know it will be harder not to result to impulse, not to approach an issue with fire, not to be "pikon", but its truly worth a shot.

today

Hold me close and Hold me Fast, The Magic Spell you Cast. 

this song has been in my head all day. 

Hello

           Today someone messaged me on Tumblr that they followed this blog because they enjoyed what it was that I wrote. to that kind soul who messaged me, thank you! This entry is dedicated to you. because Im just so jolly like that. Its like when youre a kid and someone gives you a stamp for your pictures.. and you just want to keep coloring even if your crayons broken in half!

         I've wanted to write about so many things. Lately I've been head over heels with my Philosophy class. We learn about Plato and the Truth of life. (thats Truth with a capital T!) Sometimes I wanted to write about being Lasallian, all the things that I've realized in the spirit of the centennial celebration. Then there are times when I just want to lash out about all the things I dont understand - from why people misuse the purpose of political parties to dating and relationships. Sometimes I want to write about this society and why its so full of septic pus. When these thoughts come in my head all I can think about is "wow I need to put this somewhere" but theres always a moment's hesitation, always an excuse to delay your words. Maybe Im in the mood to write now cause I realized someone might be reading. that's kind of dumb though isn't it? Its like I just want the attention. I dont know..maybe I am pretty pathetic like that. or maybe this is just what Ive needed all this time. Maybe I just needed a little reminding. 

Anyway, one day I will write about all those things I mentioned above - but I dont want to force it. The rain is trickling outside and Im just lying down listening to the quiet. I'm going to write about writing. 

 whenever I write or draw, it's like a dream for me. I feel so limited with how I can express myself. Each time I feel like describing something, I find that the very words I use to describe that something actually changes that something itself. I say its like a dream because that's the only thing I can liken it to. Its when you fall asleep for a long time, and you see strange images in your sleep. Then you wake up and try to explain it to someone, but you find that as you explain, the dream gets farther and farther away. Before you know it, you remember it in a completely different way. 

So there are some things in my mind that I dont want to write or talk about, because I find that its so good that you just don't ever want it to change. How you see it, Its perfect. on the other hand, there are times when you write and it actually makes that thing you're looking at even more wonderful. Isn't that just lovely? that it can go both ways? writing in itself can be limiting and infinite. You think you're the one who's taking your reader somewhere else, but who are you kidding? Writing is what takes YOU somewhere else, and even if someone reads your work, they'll never understand it the same way you did. They'll never go the same places you did, It can never feel the same exact way for two different people because people have different experiences and perceptions. Its a world of a thousand paths to a billion places all in your mind. 

So no wonder you find the book better than the movie. can you just picture how Hogwarts was imagined by all the people who had ever read Harry Potter? that's a lot of versions of Hogwarts(es) - thats a whole galaxy of them. I find that beautiful and wonderful. Truth with a capital T!

I guess what Im saying is that its just something that makes me happy. It makes me happy because anyone can do it. It doesn't matter who you are or where you're from, you can always take your mind to a different place. You can always think a happy thought, and you can put that thought somewhere. Whether it be paper, or a leaf, or gourmet cooking. There's always something more than whats on the surface, always something more than meets the eye. 

I dont know where you end up when you read this, but I hope you end up somewhere worth while. 

Heaven and Hell

heres a good ol zen story about Heaven and Hell. One day there was a man who was permitted to see heaven and hell by the gods. In hell, he saw people sitting around a round table.  they sat 7 feet apart, 7 feet across. they were on stools 7 feet high and ate with chopsticks 7 feet long. they couldn't place the food into their mouths (and the food was really a feast!) because their arms are, of course, not long enough (who has 7 ft long arms!?) The people in hell were miserable. it was torture to be so close and yet so far to a sumptuous meal. (they could never leave the stools) The man was very sad when he saw this. After that, the gods took him to heaven. In heaven, the man saw that it was exactly the same situation - except everyone was happy and well fed. how could this be?

The answer to the riddle is that in HEAVEN, people fed each other. :) 

I think this is the best illustration I could ever find about heaven. Sometimes Hell can be a place we're in because we just can't see the way out. That place of fire and brimstone, maybe that isn't something to be taken literally (I sure hope not!). without compassion, how can we ever find understanding? I think thats the worst thing. When your own perspective is just limited to your own motives. "I only wish to know you, so that I can use you" Isn't it a hell in itself to see people that way? it seems like something that can trap you. how will you know when to stop? You'll feel hopeless that things never go your way. You'll keep trying, but its a pointless struggle. Dont you ever feel like you just need to let go? who ever said that your way was the only way to go through with it? this was a hard lesson for me to learn, but I feel like you really grow once you do. 

I think when we empty ourselves of things like the desire for position, the desire to prove something, the desire to be the first and only, I think thats when you can really start to see the beautiful things in life. Sometimes we (myself included) can really lose our way. We always see what we want to happen for ourselves, instead of considering the needs of others.



I have a favorite line from Plato about this:

"Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle"

I love this line because its simple and yet so true. humbling in every sense. We all have needs, dreams and hopes. We all hurt and experience hardships, maybe of different kinds, but human suffering is universal. We all bleed, we all feel. We were all children once.

like a forest who's trees connect through the roots underground: there is a bigger picture. Hell can be us when we focus on ourselves, and how we'll never be enough (I mean with the shallow standards of society, who is enough nowadays?) and it will be a pointless cycle of struggle. Plus when you dont understand, you hurt others as well. You cause suffering, which in my juvenile experience will only come back to you.

Understanding breeds inner-peace. You dont need to keep yakking on your high chair. people putting people in boxes, giving each other labels; sometimes all that another person needs is for someone to listen. after all, Dont we all have our own story to tell? it sucks when someone just places you as either black or white. Ive been at the wrong side before. who hasn't? who am i to judge you?

pandas are both black and white. yehey! 

 people can't be categorized like socks. what a way to undermine the beauty of humanity @-) when you really look into it, its a wonderful thing to just empathize with another person. To just shut up and understand. Like the people from the story, heaven is a place where people know how to share. share kindness and understanding :) have another dumpling from my 7ft. long chopstick, I know youve been huuuuuuuuungry! 

its just a happy thought today. I dont even know if this completely makes sense :))  anywho I hope you get to find that little piece of heaven!

good intentions

Music

summer 2011 has been such a beautiful experience. I'm grabbing every free moment I can to just unwind before the hectic school year.  These past days have been filled with music, and films. piles and piles of it. but right now lezz just focus on the music. I've rediscovered some old albums and Ive just been soaking up in their goodness. Theres nothing better than just feeding your soul with good music.

I've been a fan of Dave Matthews Band since forever.  Many people like their songs like crash into me or #41. those are the songs that gravitated me towards this album in the first place. So I finally listened through the whole thing, and i discovered some of their equally amazing but less known stuff. songs like "Two Step" and "Let You Down" have provided my summer with soothing goodness. This band really makes me feel something. Like that 90s warmth that I cant explain. 

Let me continue the momentum of the 90s bands! I'll forever remember this as the summer I embraced Red Hot Chili Peppers. I used to just know a handful of their songs, but you cant say you're a legit fan until you've feasted your ears on an entire album. Blood Sugar Sex Magik, Californication,  Stadium Arcadium and By The Way. Cant wait for their new album! I first listened out of curiosity, but theyre on repeat now because, again, they just make you feel this something. Something so raw and palm tree like and crazy. 

Most people might have learned about Iron and Wine because they were in the Twilight Soundtrack. I may hate Twilight but shit..I do not hate it's soundtrack, whatever. Hell, I first heard Iron and Wine in the soundtrack of In Good Company. However after getting a lot of their newer albums I can now conclude that theres so much more here than the movies they were featured in. It isnt just Iron and Wine. I love quiet music. Simon and Garfunkel, Jose Gonzalez. I love folky melancholy music with whispering bearded men. It makes me feel like a grizzly bear...minus the grizzly and minus the bear. 

Just like that one summer in high school when I discovered System of a Down, This album made me insane. Its one thing to listen to two or three songs, but it's a-whole-notha thing to hear this as a WHOLE. I used to be okay with Kanye. I mean he had that whole period of autotune. Yet one day on the way home from Tagaytay  I heard this whole thing and it's amazing! The sum of the parts does not equal the whole! I never knew rap could make me feel SO passionate and creative. I grew up at a time when rap was all about big booty and bling bling - but it can be more. It can be beautiful. It started with this album, but this melted with my curiousity resulting into an itunes full of kid cudi and tupac. Sorry taylor, but Kanye deserves all the bragging rights for this album. 

Some people say music is their passion, A way to pass the time, Something to accompany whatever emotion.. To numb the heart, or to exaggerate a feeling. Whatever it is, I say its my escape. choosing a song for me is like choosing a destination. Where the hell will we end up in the end? 

I mean It's your life. Its your Soundtrack. Might as well choose wisely and enjoy the ride. 

a summer request!!

I found a tiny starfish

In a tide pool by the sand.

I found a tiny starfish

And I put him in my hand.

An itty-bitty starfish

No bigger than my thumb,

A wet and golden starfish

Belonging to no one.

I thought that I would take him

From the tidepool by the sea,

And bring him home to give you

A loving gift from me.

But as I held my starfish,

His skin began to dry.

Without his special seaside home,

My gift for you would die.

I found a tiny starfish

In a tide pool by the sea.

I hope whoever finds him next

Will leave him there, like me!

And the gift I've saved for you?

The best that I can give:

I found a tiny starfish,

And for you, I let him live.

-Dayle Ann Dodds

Its summer! do the world a favor and dont take any "souvenirs" from your beach trips. leave the corals, the sand, the sea shells and the starfishes. keep the oceans alive! :)